God Is Faithful, Even When I Am Not
When it comes to beginning a new church in a new place, it’s easier to become aware of just how much God’s power and intervention is needed.
It’s not that His power and intervention is not needed in every church, but there is a very real desperateness at outset of starting a church.
Early on, when we started a new church in East Islip, I would pace outside of the theater we were renting, hoping and praying that someone would come.
It was in some of these moments that I began to have two conversations with God, or probably more accurately, with myself.
In my desperateness of wanting to see people attend our new church plant, I would lay out my list of the things that I had done. I would recount the efforts. I would recount the time. I would recount the investment. I would desperately try to convince God as to why there should be people showing up to our new church.
This type of conversation took place on the good days.
On the not so good days, I would pace outside of the theater plagued my guilt. I would recount my other list. I would recall what I had not done. I would recount my lack of effort, my lack of engagement, and my lack of prayer. I would desperately try to negotiate promises to God on what I would do in the future, if there would just be some people to show up to our new church.
It’s nearly impossible to emphasize enough how dangerous and sinful this way of thinking is. This way of thinking is not rooted in an accurate understanding of who God is. Even further, it’s not rooted in an accurate understanding of who we are. The success or lack of success concerning our new church that we were planting was not an indicator of God’s love for me or the people in our community. But, it becomes very easy to personalize these things. It becomes easy to base our own self-worth on the current condition of our church.
Again, I can’t overstate how dangerous and deceitful it is to think this way. It’s not true or accurate on any level. It took me a while to grasp hold of the amazing truth that God is faithful, even when I am not faithful.
God’s love never fails.
God’s love never changes.
God’s grace is sufficient.
God’s grace is enough.
This doesn’t mean that it doesn’t matter what we do.
This is in no way discounts the efforts, work, and investment that is needed. Church planting, church replanting, and pastoring a church requires all of it.
But, there’s absolute freedom in knowing that God is faithful, even when we do not do it all perfectly.
God is beyond our efforts.
God is sovereign over insufficiencies.
God knows when we do not know.
God provides what we do not have.
God leads when we do not where to go.
I have seen God’s faithfulness, in spite of my insufficiencies. This isn’t false humility or me beating myself up needlessly.
My friend Steve always says that “church planting will expose your greatest weakness.” I know this to be true.
There are things that I’ve I done and decisions I ‘ve made, that I would love to have the chance to do over.
Over the years, I’ve made decisions that hurt people, injured friendships, and caused pain in ways that I never intended.
Over the years, there have been numerous times when I have made the wrong call or wrong decision.
While I have regret and remorse toward these things, I’ve seen God’s grace all along the way.
There have been enough of those decisions where I can now see that, how in spite of me, God demonstrated His power and authority.
I can see how God has remained faithful every step of the way, even when I made the wrong call.
There is very real truth that every church planter and pastor needs to embrace:
We are inadequate to build God’s church.
As long as this is up for debate, the struggle will wear us down and the Enemy will take us out.
We will not plant or lead a healthy church in our own power and strength.
It is not just that we shouldn’t, it’s that we can’t.
-sterling
“if we are faithless, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny himself.” 2 Timothy 2:13
